


Nothing to be, but Me

by SlashyJazz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alpha Harry Potter, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Black Hermione Granger, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Full Shift Werewolves, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Shane Walsh, Shane Walsh Lives, Top Harry Potter, bottom Shane Walsh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26122312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlashyJazz/pseuds/SlashyJazz
Summary: Omegas were not meant to lead.When Rick gives Shane the ultimatum of leave or be killed, Shane runs away from his best-friend turned enemy and from everything he corrupted.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Shane Walsh, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 31
Kudos: 244





	1. Chapter 1

**“Killers aren't always assassins. Sometimes, they don't even have blood on their hands.”**

**― Ruta Sepetys, Salt to the Sea**

* * *

Shane should have been an Alpha like his older brother and his old man. Strong, manly, and every other title that came with the big A. 

So when he presented at twelve as an omega he could understand why his father had thrown a fit. 

The pride and joy that his father always held suddenly turned cold, there were no more rough pats on the head, proud slaps on his back when he did well in a basketball game. 

He was not allowed to follow his father around anymore for the fear of someone smelling him and breeding him. 

Or so his father had said. 

Most of his friends deserted him and he was dismissed from the basketball team citing ‘not wanting the team to get fouls because of body influence’ as if he would moan just to distract the opposing team’s players. 

He couldn’t blame them though. 

Being an Omega was nothing to be proud of, especially a male one. 

His mother was a Beta, and there had not been an omega in the family for generations. They were weak and useless, only good for popping out children. 

Defenseless creatures that could destroy a family, a marriage, who could influence anyone with a sniff of their scent.

In his little town being an omega was not a blessing and as such he was treated as a curse. 

When Shane turned thirteen and his first heat crashed into him like a tidal wave on a wall of soft sand he was pushed into the basement and locked inside. He could smell his mother spraying air fresheners as if he smelt of decay, the air heavy with lemon and orange to mask his scent.

He had screamed for his mother for help when the pain became too much when his stomach cramped and his skin became sensitive. 

His body had become foreign, it had changed and it wasn’t his own any longer. He screamed for her when slick poured from his body to pool under him, when his body trembled through his very first orgasm, then the second, fifth and twelfth. 

He had been left in the basement for five days with the burning stench of air fresheners and cigar smoke his father burned like stick essence as if to dilute his scent. 

Water bottles and bread had tumbled down the stairs as a way to keep him fed, not that he could handle eating more than a few nibbles or sipping on some water because his brain was fuzzy, numbed by the scorching need to cum again and again, to be _bred_. 

He felt as if he was the family dog that was tossed scraps and punished when they made a mess that they had no control over.

A day after his heat his mother had come downstairs, cleaning mask on her face and she bundled him up in his winter wear, before pulling him up the stairs and outside in the dead of night. A taxi waiting outside, lights off and the driver wearing a mask as well. 

He had felt contagious, dirty. 

Like he had some sort of incurable disease that could be caught if they breathed in his direction. She had run back inside to get his suitcase, handing it to the driver before closing the door as quietly as possible. 

Not because she tried to be gentle but because she didn’t want the neighbors to find out that she was shipping off her youngest son in the dead of night like a dirty secret. 

The moment the door closed he stared at his mother who stared back, her pretty hazel eyes darkened by the night around them. 

She was a beautiful woman, alluring with curly black hair that complimented her forever present red lips. She had been a loving mother, sweet and kind-hearted but he assumed that kindness did not extend to her child with his status as one of shame.

So it had been a surprise when the driver turned his back to take a call that she lunged forward and hugged him, pulling his body halfway through the car window. 

Shane remembered he had tensed up, not having been touched like that for a very long time since he presented. It took his arms several long seconds to remember what a _hug_ was, and what it felt like to have his mother whisper that she loved him.

Over and over she repeated it and he had cried because she was crying, the realization then and there despite it all she still loved him. 

The mask over her nose and mouth was yanked down and she peppered his face in kisses, her lips pressing into his skin and lingering because even though he knew she loved him, she was going to let him go.

He was never going to see her again.

Shane watched, eyes red and nose stuffy as she pulled back, mask back in place when the driver finished the call. He stared at her, soaking up the image of his mother before the car pulled off. Twisting his body to look, to strain to see her in the faint light the street lamps gave off. 

And he had been right. He never saw her again.

Sometimes he guessed that being sent to distant relatives was the best thing that had ever happened to him, other times he felt abandoned. 

They were not prejudicial and gave him enough love to make up for the past two years of hell. He made new friends and made new enemies. No one cared that he was an omega seeing as how they were more than a handful in the local high school. 

He cared, however. 

His status was something to be celebrated in this town which was the direct opposite of where he had lived for thirteen years. That scorn, the looks of wariness, hate, disdain, and disgust he remembered them all.

The contrast was dizzying and confusing and he still didn’t want it. 

If he could have cut it out he would have. His tube, his hormones, his _womb_.

So he did the next best thing. He took suppressors. The over the top ones that recommended a daily dose of two so Shane took four, sometimes five when his heat was near. He did not want to be an omega, he wanted to be strong, to be someone people could look up too and feel protected by. 

He was to be an Alpha and not even his biology would stop him, no matter what his father or nature had said.

He met Rick Grimes who was an Alpha when he was sixteen, someone who wanted to be a cop so badly it was all he spoke of until the conversation was forcefully changed. So he had become a cop as well when he turned twenty.

With his body filled out after years of training in the school gym, running track, lifting weights, and taking enough suppressants that his scent and heat were practically non-existent he had begun to fool even himself when he looked in the mirror. 

People who didn’t know him swore by the nails of their toes he had been an Alpha or at least a strong Beta and he had no intention of correcting them. 

He fucked omegas and betas alike, cock above that of a typical omega’s so no one questioned it. 

Alpha’s who couldn’t get a gage on his scent saw him as one of their own and when Rick got hitched to Lori he screwed his way through the bridal party and guest list alike, always pulling out just when he was about to come with the excuse of not wanting to knot someone who wasn’t his mate.

They saw him as sentimental when in reality he couldn’t pop a knot even if he wished upon a star. 

Then he became an uncle to little Carl who had his father’s blue eyes and was the most curious child Shane had ever met. 

Lori who was a beta had sworn in jest that Shane was an omega when Carl would quickly stop crying each time Shane held him.

Shane had laughed it off proclaiming Carl recognizing a fellow ladies man when he saw one.

Baby Carl had known better but as he grew, even that knowledge disappeared.

He and Rick had a ritual when out on patrol. Fast food, smoothies, and a box of twelve donuts, six each. 

Rick was his best-friend even if Shane had never told him the truth about his biology, so he wondered just when he and Lori began to share secretive looks when Rick wasn’t looking.

When hugs became bodies pressed too close and when ‘Uncle Shane’ sullied that honored name when he began to screw her.

The need to belong had always overwhelmed him but never like that. 

To fuck someone’s wife was one thing but to fuck an Alpha’s mate was a whole other universe. He had felt powerful every time their bodies joined and he fucked her until she was screaming his name into the pillow her face was pressed into so Carl wouldn’t hear out in the living room. 

She always begged for his knot, he always denied her.

He knew this was where the rush of power came from. He also knew that was where he began to blur the lines until the lines were erased.

When Rick got shot he didn’t know what to do. 

His hands were stained red with his best-friends blood. His brother in all but blood. The doctor said he would survive and Lori pulled away from him to be at her husband’s side.

He had been angry, so angry he picked up a random one night stand at a club and came inside the male beta who asked what happened to his knot. 

He remembered hitting the man over and over again until he couldn’t ask any more questions. Until he wouldn’t tell a single person that Shane Walsh didn’t have a knot or else.

The very next day the world went to shit.

Looking back he would’ve preferred to be brought up on charges of assault and battery compared to watching a father maul his daughter outside of the preschool. 

When the hospital became overrun and the soldiers began to shoot everyone in sight both living and dead he ran back to Lori and told her Rick was dead.

She had cried and denied it, begged him to stop lying and he hadn’t. Lori and Carl fled the house with him and sought refuge, Shane making sure to stop by a drug store under the guise of medical supplies when in fact he stocked up on suppressants to last. 

Lori was his again.

Being the leader of people was a rush when truthfully his biology was compromised. 

Omegas were not meant to lead. 

Back in that backwater shit town where his father hated him and his mother hid her love for him in fear of his father’s heavy hands and even heavier temper, where he was weak and unwanted, Omegas were side-lined and forgotten.

Here? Some people needed him, they needed his strength, his smarts, his gun, and fighting skill. Hell, they needed his presence. He had the pack, the mate without the formalities of a bite, and the child he would never be able to sire. No matter if they rightfully belonged to his best friend.

He was contented, he was happy and he was naive.

The moment Rick stepped from that van, he could feel Lori pull away from him. Days, weeks and finally she was lost to him. 

Ed suffered for it and others did too. He wanted to hurt Rick so badly it made him light-headed at times when he thought about it. Rick was taking his birthright away from him, he was stealing what he had worked so hard for without even batting an eyelash.

The group was his pack and Lori was his, Alpha’s fought for lesser things and Shane was an Alpha in everything but biology.

Rick had been surprised by the attack and for a moment Shane had gained the upper hand. Then Rick flashed his eyes and roared at the challenge and it was as if something inside of him snapped in place then _crumbled_. 

The next moment he found himself with a gun pointed at his head. 

Rick gave him a choice. Leave or die.

So he had run, with only the clothes on his back and the gun in his waist and knife in his hand. 

His suppressants left behind along with everything that made him what he wished to be. 

**.**

**.**

Shane was running, dodging between cars and trucks, jumping over piles of rubble and stumbling through trash and the occasional carcass. He had to and he couldn’t stop because if he did then he would be another stain on the cracked roads, another forgotten body people like him would only glance at before walking away.

A stumble later and he hissed when the knees of his jeans tore away, feeling the second his skin followed.

“Fuck..” he groaned.

Hopping back to his feet not taking the chance to waste precious seconds in looking back, it wouldn’t matter anyway he knew that they were close by, their snarls had been following him for what may have been miles; ever since he had run into those bikers. 

They had said he smelled good like an _omega_ , and in a blind rage, he lashed out, trigger pulling and two dead.

The gunfire and the sounds of the motorcycles had drawn the walkers out from where ever they had been hiding. Two dead men later and the rest retreated at the sight of the massive herd leaving him to either find somewhere to hide or run.

And he ran. 

He ran like the devil himself was behind him, but at the moment he would’ve taken the Devil or even fucking Freddie Kruger, he would’ve even taken Rick pointing a gun at his head again because to feel the bone-deep pain and shock was preferable to the panic, and exhaustion he experienced now. 

His gun was an empty shell in the band of his pants and the knife he had was as useless as the gun when it compared to over fifty of those dead fuckers trailing behind him.

He was hungry, so hungry that his stomach had long ago stopped cramping and was just an aching void inside of him, his water had run out two days ago, no rain or clouds in sight.

If he was as religious as his old childhood community had been he’d say that God was punishing him, and if he had to be truly honest with himself he’d agree. 

Leaning against an annoyingly green car that still managed to look neon despite the layers of dirt on it he wheezed, lungs deciding they were calling it quits as well.

He couldn’t run anymore and when he looked back he couldn’t help the fear burning its way through him at the sight of the bloody, dirty corpses getting closer than ever, their bodies leaving smears of blood and grime on the vehicles they rubbed against, the one at the foremost front reached out to him, fingers broken in several places and jaw partially gone with a huge chunk missing from its side.

Shane shook his head and pushed off from the green car, trembling hands tugging at the doors of the cars as he limped past.

Locked, locked, locked, locked, locked.

“God, please… “ He looked back and into the murky yellow eyes of the walker and suddenly it seemed as if he couldn’t breathe at all, lungs struggling, and he wailed pulling at the car doors in more desperation than he had ever felt before, one after the next, all locked.

He was going to die.

“Please God please… help me, help me.” 

His chest hurt. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get his lungs to expand and take in the air he was trying to push into them. 

“Help me, someone help me.”

The rational side of his brain that hadn’t gone dead with fear told him that he was having a panic attack, something he did not have since he was sixteen and had met Rick for the first time after the boy had chased off Billy Anderson and his cronies that had bullied him since middle school.

“Help me! Somebody help me! Please!” he jumped back from a minivan when a decomposing face lunged at the glass and he staggered back in fright.

He was going to die.

The herd was getting closer now, close enough that he could smell their rotting bodies as if they were a foot away and his nose burned making the little amount of oxygen he was getting burn on the way down as well.

His vision was blurring now and he yanked at the door of a black SUV until he heard a barely audible ‘click’. Pulling it open hard enough that it smashed against the car on the other side of him Shane scrambled in and locked all four doors before pitched over gasping. 

He couldn’t breathe.

Gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white he coughed as if it would remove the blockage from his chest. It had been years upon years since he had one as bad as this, the fear of not being able to draw a breath, the deep urge to try and try again even though you knew nothing would come of it until you either calmed down or passed out from the lack of oxygen. 

Shane coughed again and his body jerked from the force of it before he sobbed, his free hand that wasn’t latched onto the wheel for dear life covered his eyes as hot tears came down and ran along his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, God I’m so sorry… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…” 

But he did mean to, he had meant every action he did from the moment he raced to the Grimes family house and told Lori that Rick was dead and that they had to leave now. 

He had meant it when he had held the woman after she had cried loud and hard at the loss of her husband and mate, he had meant it when he told them both he’d protect them for Rick… _in place_ of Rick. 

He’d meant it when he hadn’t stopped her when she had come to him one night, nose red and eyes puffy from crying again, naked under the summer dress she had been wearing two days before. He had meant each touch, every word, every action he had done to her because he was protecting them in place of Rick. He’d meant every thrust, every grunt, every time he whispered dirty and loving things to her that night for the first time. 

Then he meant it every day afterward, every orgasm he had, each time he came outside of her because soon enough, though her heart was still aching for her dead husband, he knew she meant it too. 

He didn’t look up when they began to pound on the glass, rubbing grubby hands on the windshield and practically shaking the SUV on both sides as they tried to get him. He sobbed again, nose blocked up and eyes burning in sync with his chest. This time he coughed against his will, a wet sound that he would’ve grimaced at if his vision wasn’t wavering now so dangerously.

“I don’t want to die… please… “

Shane leaned back, his chest heaving as he wheezed and through his wet lashes he could see the ghoulish faces of the dead, deformed with only hunger written on his faces, cracked and missing nails scratching at the glass and their groans reached his ears and surrounded him. 

It was too loud and too hot within the car, his body was too heated and his heart felt as if it would burst from his seized chest. 

Tilting over the space between the seats he landed on the carpeted flooring of the family-sized SUV, a yellow and white plush toy stared back at him, it’s glass eyes almost sympathetic. Shane reached over and grabbed it as he curled in on himself. 

He knew he was going to pass out, maybe even die if one of them managed to break the glass and for the first time in weeks or months, since Rick had shown him mercy and cast him from the group instead of killing him, the only act kindness he received was from the comfort of a toy from a child he would never know.

Waking up was more painful than he thought it would be, everything seemed to hurt from his toes to his pounding head.

He didn’t need to check to know that he was running a fever and the enclosed heat of the car wasn’t helping. 

Clutching the rabbit plushie to his chest he was tempted to crack open the window a bit just to breathe a bit easier but one look at the faces outside squashed that idea. 

He didn’t know which was worst, the hunger that had returned with a vengeance, the pain of his body from all the running, falling and beating he’d received from those asses on two wheels or the knowledge that he was going to die inside of a car surrounded by the dead while holding a child’s toy. 

Maybe it was an all-round tie.

Shane chuckled before a laugh burst from his mouth which then dissolved into a coughing fit when saliva went down the wrong pipe, then he continued to cough until his throat hurt and his eyes watered until it felt as if something in his chest had just torn, and then he was sitting up holding onto the car seat in a panic because he couldn’t stop coughing.

What seemed like forever, he finally stopped and maybe it was an instinctive reaction or maybe it was because he knew he was fucked in several ways that couldn’t be avoided but he broke down again. 

He cried until he couldn’t breathe and he gasped and wheezed and clutched at the plush toy until he could not remain awake any longer.

It didn’t matter anyway… he was going to die.

He dreamed of better times when he and Rick were still teens and would go down to bowling alley, how he slowly gained confidence with Rick at his side and how he got his first girlfriend at nineteen, almost twenty. 

How he and Rick had dreams of being big shot FBI agents that tackled crooks to the ground before reading them their Miranda Rights but both had settled for being ordinary cops in their ordinary town. 

How they had a ritual of getting burgers, chips, and smoothies along with twelve donuts, six apiece. 

How Rick had met Lori and then he was suddenly an uncle because Rick was his brother in all but blood. How he stood at the altar as the best man as Rick and Lori smiled at each other so wide he could see the pink of their gums. 

He dreamed of how he said a speech that was both touching and funny, how he had prayed to God the day before the wedding that his best friend got the best life and marriage ever, how he wished that Rick would be blessed with more kids he knew what to do with and, they’d both grow into old men who’d have the same ritual even after retirement and even against the doctor’s orders.

And then the dream turned into a nightmare with him developing feelings for his best friend's wife, with her staring at him through the crack of the door as she undressed, with him screaming for help when Rick was shot, of dead bodies rising again and devouring the living, of the world descending into chaos.

With him being happy to lead a group of people that depended on him, with Lori at his side only to leave when Rick appeared again and finally with his best friend pointing a gun at his head telling him to leave or die.

Shane jerked awake at the sound of gunfire, rapid shots that came from both sides of the SUV and he covered his head as glass rained down on him. He didn’t move from his position on the ground even after the guns stopped firing and the groans of the dead had ceased. 

Everything was dead silent for a long time and after a few minutes he eased himself around, the toy squeezed in his left hand as he peeked out through a shattered window to stare at two heavy-duty and modified jeeps before his body went boneless.

His ears were ringing and bits of pieces of glass dug into the fresh cuts on his knees then his palms but he would be lying if he said he could feel them. It was almost calming how it felt to have his body go numb, even if a simple touch to his neck told him just how hot of a temperature he was running.

The door behind him opened up, pried off and thrown to the side and a tiny part of him screamed to run, berated him on how he hadn’t heard the person approach but fuck it, he couldn’t move anymore. 

In any case he’d rather be killed by another living man than to be eaten by a dead one.

Looking up he squinted at the figure that was undoubtedly male but whose features were blurry at best by the sun that shone behind the man. 

He groaned when a hand touched his forehead, the coolness of the person’s skin felt nicer than it should before the man stepped back and another took his place to drag him from the floor of the car. 

Shane squeezed his eyes shut when his head was tilted up towards the sun as another pair of hands roamed his body, prying his shirt from his torso and dropping his pants from his legs. 

Through his hair that had grown back after being on the road alone for weeks, around the back of his neck, down the front and back of his chest, around his ribs, between his legs, and the crack of his ass.

“M’not bit.” he slurred and the man holding him almost seemed to growl.

Shane would’ve laughed at the irony of it all, because if this was how it felt to be pat down then no wonder the people he had arrested protested so much.

If he was in his right mind then he would’ve fought back against the hands that had touched him and the rather large person who was holding him up but his legs were of no use since yesterday or whenever it was. 

Opening his eyes was going to be an act of God and all he wanted was to go back asleep now that he knew he wasn’t going to be eaten and torn apart by walkers, but the person holding him up shook him a bit until someone snapped at them to stop it.

Cool Hands returned and Shane, through his fuzzy mind realized that water was being poured into his mouth only when it started to run down the sides of his lips and the cool liquid touched his scorching chest. After a few attempts, he got his throat to work before Cool Hands took the bottle away from him and brushed his sweaty hair away from his forehead.

The sun was no longer beating down on him and slowly he concluded that he was lying on a car seat, despite being naked with the exceptions of his boxers for the first time in a long time Shane didn’t feel angry. 

Someone pressed the plushy back into his hands and he clutched it to his heated skin as the vehicle moved off, the engine powerful enough that it was a pleasant hum. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toddlers, Sugar and Remus.

* * *

**“Shame isn't a quiet grey cloud, shame is a drowning man who claws his way on top of you, scratching and tearing your skin, pushing you under the surface.”** **  
****― Kirsty Eagar**

* * *

This was the first time since he had been saved by the strangers he was able to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time.

The days before had been filled with blurry figures, cool water, and small hands as if they belonged to a child. 

He hazily recalled that it was always two people, the one he had dubbed Cool Hands when he was rescued, who always brought him food and water, wiped him down, and then the other whose hands were smaller but weathered and just as gentle.

Shane blushed before rubbing a hand roughly through his hair that had grown back out. “Fuck.” 

Closing his eyes he sighed.

This was a fucked up situation as it was. 

He was not supposed to be here, in a place with strange people that apparently had no qualms about touching another man’s junk. He was to be with his group, on a farm of all places. They were now getting settled in, now being able to relax after running and fighting and searching for so long. 

He deserved to be there teaching Carl how to shoot, wrapping his arms around Lori, and telling her how much he loved--

Shane swallowed, a bitter taste in his mouth. 

But that was Rick’s job again, now wasn’t it. 

While being on the road with no one but ghosts and dead bodies as a company for so many weeks he had no option to think. Talking to himself while strange and mildly aggravating, had been the only way not to go stir crazy from the lack of human companionship. 

He had done some… _thinking_. 

Reflections or whatever the fuck it was called. Even before he had started this thing with Lori, he had known it was wrong. Knew it was wrong back then when he watched her undress through the crack of the bedroom door while Rick was in the garage with his car. 

It had been wrong when they traded glances during Sunday dinners; when she had come to him two days after he told her Rick was dead and she had ridden him, not like a woman grieving but one full of lust and heat and need. 

He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop.

Trying to say he was protecting his best friend’s family flew out the window the second he put his hands on Lori and the moment he thought of her as his own.

Then Rick came back and-

Shane groaned, yanking on his hair until the pain caused him to release it.

He knew he was in the wrong to touch another man’s woman, to touch his best-friend his brother’s wife. To still want her, lust after and love her even when said brother appeared alive and well.

He was wrong but he didn’t want to be, because for the first time in a very long time he was happy. Contented to have a family he craved even if the wife and child belonged to another man. 

Then when he had to give it up, when he knew it was time to let go of what was only his due to circumstance he couldn’t, and then Rick wasn’t Rick anymore.

Rick was the one who stood in the way of what he wanted, the one who took them away from him. 

Rick had become the enemy.

Now that he wasn’t burning up with a fever, starving, and dehydrated with bone-deep exhaustion Shane knew all of those delirium induced dreams, the mumbles that he only half-remembered were true, a gospel he was still wary to accept.

Tears burned behind his eyelids and Shane covered his face though no one was present to could see his shame. 

His father had always said that if a man cried he was more pussy than any woman. As a man crying wasn’t right but anger, hate, and envy were acceptable. 

Crying was as shameful as it got, God his father must be rolling in his grave knowing that his son was crying more in this last week than he had in two decades, then again he stopped being his son or anything of relation the moment he presented as an omega so did it really matter what he old man thought about him?

A part of him was still angry at Rick, for being alive and taking back all the love Lori and Carl had shown and had given him.

That part of him still wanted to find Rick and kill him.

To make him scream as he hurt him over and over again. To really make sure that this time, this time he would remain dead so he could take back what was his. 

That part of him wanted what really wasn’t his, and that part of him had to die.

He didn’t want to feel like this anymore.

This burning rage that consumed him and blurred his rationality, that made his friends into enemies he wanted to put down like rabid dogs. He couldn’t be that person anymore, he didn’t want to be. 

Rick had given him a chance, more than he deserved after what he did. 

He wouldn’t let that chance go to waste and as soon as he could stand on his own two feet again he would ask the leader of the group for one or two weapons, some supplies then he’d leave. 

Shane sniffled bringing his hand up to rub at his eyes.

He never understood why crying always made you so tired, but it was effective he’d give it that. Looking out the window that the bed was next to he saw the sky now beginning to brighten. The dark blue sky turning orange and pink with sunrise.

Then just like that, the camp came alive. 

Shane eased himself up because the last thing he wanted was to fall off the bed and break his fucking arm or leg seeing as how he had a bad track record of not keeping his mind and body in one piece so far. 

Peering out the window he watched as several people split off into different directions, some exiting through a narrow gate and into a wide field. 

Squinting he could just make out to see on the edges of the overgrown pasture skewers were set up, a great idea so that if any wandering walkers managed somehow to get past the wall and came close they would be impaled. The men and women then split up, long sticks in hand running through the long grass. 

Someone raised a white flag and like clockwork and maybe it just might be, others led cows, sheep, and goats out into the field. 

Climbing from the bed he stumbled more than walked over to the other window that overlooked another huge patch of land, one of his hands holding onto the waistband of the sweats that were riding low.

These people had a running sanctuary with livestock and crops. His group barely had a stable home and a roof over their heads back at the farm much less a whole running stronghold.

He continued to stare out of the window watching as some of the people who tended to the crops gathered baskets of what looked like fucking corn while another group took the full baskets and the cycle continued. 

It was a system, an effective and running system. 

“Amazing isn’t it.”

Shane spun around, his heart hammering in his chest even as his fist flew to hit the person who had been _breathing down his neck_. 

A hand caught his own but instead of retaliating the woman only released it. “I suppose that was my fault, dreadfully sorry.” 

Shane tensed up because now his body and senses weren’t riddled with feverish haze he could easily tell that the woman standing before him was an alpha, and if his weak body could identify her orientation then she could do the same to Shane. 

He hadn’t met many female alphas in his lifetime, and the two that he did stumble across had been vicious like most of their male counterparts.

The next thing Shane noticed was the shock of curly brown hairy thrown into a messy bun and the rather disarming smile resting was on her full lips. Her brown eyes were warm but sharp, mocha skin smooth like she experienced spa days every day since the end of the world. 

The woman raised an eyebrow when a sound of protest came from Shane’s stomach and her smile widened in obvious delight at hearing his stomach gurgle. 

“I suppose breakfast is in order” she murmured, looking a bit thoughtful. 

Shane’s gaze still lingered on her, the alpha who carried a fucking British accent though nothing like the ‘pansy shit’ he had heard his father’s drinking buddies say.

Instead, she sounded like someone who was used to speaking, perhaps to large crowds with more authority was currently let seep through. 

The straightness of her back and the silence of her footsteps spoke about more than just a simple British lady, alpha bits, or not. 

Kindness and genuine generosity only went so far in the world nowadays. If you had something, someone else wanted it as well, either by force or by trade. No one with enough common sense took a random stranger from the streets nursed them back to health and smiled at them for free.

“What do you want?”

“Excuse me?” she looked genuinely confused, head tilting ever so slightly in a move that made her look younger and less like the threat she was. 

“You brought me here, I’m alive for some reason so what do you want huh? Intel on my group cause let me tell you missy I ain’t giving you not one damn thing.”

The woman only raised an eyebrow from where she had been fiddling with an IV bag that was beside the bed on the stand. 

“Well you have three things incorrect with your statement.” she switched the bags, the empty one going into the bin next to the bedside table.

“First I personally did not bring you here since recruiting really isn’t my job per se. I am surprised that you have a group given the condition in which my people found you in and last but not least my name isn’t _missy_ , it is Hermione Granger and I would prefer if you use either my first or last name, whatever to your liking.”

Shane floundered for a moment, having been prepared for an argument but now he found the steam pressed from his body leaving him deflated. 

“What do you mean the state you found me in?”

She fluffed the pillow on the bed, motioning for him to lay back down and he did without a second thought even though his pride burned the moment his head rested against the pillow. 

“On a supply run our people found a group of dead surrounding a car trying to get in so upon investigation they found you. You were feverish, hallucinating, severely dehydrated, and underweight. You were also on the verge of heat but it was stalled since our resident medic was not too sure you would be able to survive the elevated temperatures and hormones your body would produce.”

His breath hitched and he could feel all the blood drain from his face, the warm morning seeming rather cold now. The woman - _Hermione_ raised an eyebrow at him.

“You _do know_ that you’re an omega correct?” she asked, her voice hinting at being more curious than malicious with the question.

He nodded jerkily, his brown eyes watching her for any of the signs he had seen in many alphas that found an unmated omega, a vulnerable omega. 

He hadn’t been this weak since he was a child and it made him want to scream his way from this fucked up situation.

“Thank the Gods, I thought I would have to give a man older than I am the gender talk. Now as for what we want.”

Shane tensed because he knew it, he fucking knew it. No one did shit without wanting anything, without payment.

Hermione rolled her eyes “If you’re finished with your inner monologue I’ll tell you the demands of our fearless leader.” 

The way she said ‘fearless leader’ had more respect than sarcasm but Shane picked up on it regardless.

“Your orders are to stay in bed until declared that you’re fit to be walking about and angsting over something that probably can’t be changed. This will sting a bit.”

He flinched, hissing when the needle penetrated the skin of his arm to connect it to the IV drip.

He continued to watch her warily as she stepped back, arms crossed over her chest and if his nose and senses weren’t telling him she was an alpha he would think the woman was a beta with how mild-mannered she seemed to be.

“I still haven’t received your name unless you want to continue to be referenced as the Plushy Man.”

Not giving him time to ask she pointed to the side of the bed where the stuffed rabbit was, his hand reaching for it before his brain caught up. Staring down at the child’s toy he squeezed it, the sponge on the inside making the material even softer. 

“I… I had this when they rescued me?”

She smiled sadly, nodding. “How much of the ordeal do you remember exactly?”

Shane looked back to the stuffed toy in hand, squeezing it again before gently rubbing its long ears. 

“Not much. After the third panic attack, everything just became blurry. I do remember a man, or at least I think it was a man, his hands were cool. The same hands were there on the highway and in this room… I think.”

“Cool hands?” there was a definite amusement in her voice even if she tried to keep her expression schooled. 

Shane gave her an annoyed look and stuffed the rabbit under the pillow, the IV line pulling a bit. 

“What else do you want?” 

Hermione rolled her eyes “Honestly, I understand your suspicion but it’s not needed and frankly, from what you’ve seen outside I don’t think there is anything you could provide us hm? Unless you have the cure to fix this bloody mess that is the world.”

Shane remained silent and she nodded. “Now, I’ll tell the Luna you are awake and alert, coherent at best and I’ll see if I can get you some solid food for the first time in two weeks.”

“Wait wait wait… two weeks? I’ve been here for two weeks?”

“Well granted you’ve been unconscious for the entire time but yes you have.” tucking a curly strand of hair behind her ear Hermione smiled at him.

“Get some more rest, I’ll send someone up with breakfast if you think you can stomach anything.”

Shane stared at her for a long moment before swallowing, his tongue swiping over his dry lips. “Shane Walsh.”

“Your name I’m going to assume.”

He nodded and she smiled a bit wider. “Charmed to meet you Shane.”

**.**

**.**

Running a hand down his face Shane gently tugged at the beard that covered his chin, a reflexive twitch at how unkempt he must have looked, an after effect of being a policeman for so long and all the standards that came with it. 

Peeking out the window again he watched as the people milled about, all in daily routine for them to be so in sync in whatever odd job they did to contribute to the camp. 

This was a mess.

All because of him everything was ruined.

Sixteen years of friendship down the drain because he tricked his biology to the point it turned against him. He’d heard stories while in the academy about Alphas who weren’t comfortable in their skin and wanted to be beta or even omega only they were unable to squash down the instincts to dominate and ended up battering, sometimes murdering their partner.

Or Thomas Farrow, an omega who was bullied and abused as a child, grew up and gained a place in a high ranking job. Within seven years he murdered, raped, and then disposed of over twenty-seven omegas and alphas alike, singles and couples, he had no discrimination to race or gender. He had hated what he was because of his father an Alpha and despised those who could live happily while he suffered. 

Sometimes Shane wondered if that could’ve been him. If his mother had not sent him away to her relatives in the dead of the night, if he would’ve become even more bitter about his status and one day taken a gun and killed his father and anyone else who had looked sideways at him with anything resembling disgust.

He wondered if he had left his childhood home earlier if he would’ve embraced who he was, maybe had someone for himself and kids in the bundles. 

When he first arrived at his great aunt and uncle’s home he marvelled at the amount of love two people could give someone they hardly knew. Omegas were plenty there, and no one treated them any differently than they would a beta or alpha, everyone was happy and it was such a stark contrast to his old home it had made him cry for weeks. 

Shane sometimes wondered about his mother, if she was alright after his father discovered she had sent him away without his knowledge, if she too had left and if she was still alive today. 

That night replayed in his head constantly, especially when he was troubled. Her beautiful face, eyes clouded with tears and mumbled ‘I love yous’ before the cab had driven away. 

Sighing he laid down, his arm draped over his eyes as he let the sound of the people and animals outside drown out whatever bout of misery that was about to take him over. Honestly, he was crying more nowadays than he did in decades as mortifying as it was. 

Somewhere along the line of crying he dozed off and it was only when he felt small and sticky hands on his face did he jerk awake, big hazel, almost amber eyes stared right back at him from under a head of curly black hair. 

“Uhh…” he gulped and the kid because this was a kid and he forgot just how small they could be at that age growing from baby to toddler tried to hoist himself up on the bed.

“Cwry?” the word was slightly muffled from the thumb stuck in his mouth and it was a boy, a very naked little boy who still had traces of soap on his body. 

“Um... I was but I’m okay now.” he gave his best smile and when the kid smiled back he figured it had been a good one.

The sticky hand was still on his face, smelling distinctly like maple syrup. His stomach growled in response. 

Taking the holy-shit-so-tiny hand in his own Shane tried his best to wipe the stickiness away with the outer sheet that covered his legs. The little boy just stared at him and Shane for a moment felt a bit intimidated at the steady and soulful gaze that was being directed his way from a person no older than maybe three. 

“Up.” it was more of a demand than a request and Shane knew immediately that this child had people wrapped around its sticky fingers. 

Shane grudgingly denied him being one of those people now when he complied and lifted the boy off the ground, pot belly, giggle, and all. Resting him on his lap Shane was at a loss as to what to do now with a butt naked toddler on his lap covered in soap and syrup.

The police academy never trained him for this.

“You’re an escape artist huh.”

The boy gave him a grin around the thumb, all tiny teeth, and saliva. “Poof.” 

Shane chuckled “Yea poof.”

“You go poof?” that was a question that could be interpreted in so many different ways but Shane just nodded. 

The little boy nodded back, looking much too serious for someone who was still in his streaking stages of life. His hand was now devoid of all syrup pat Shane’s own three times. 

“O’tay now, dun cwry no more ‘tay?” 

Shane blinked slowly down at the miniature human resting in his lap.

What was he supposed to say to a toddler who gave him life advice? 

“Okay.” the boy grinned at him again with even more teeth and saliva. 

Along the way of answering weird questions that sounded more as if the boy was just saying words he knew.

_“Bwerry?”_

_“Uhh, yea?”_

_“Yaay!”-_

Shane ended up playing five games of patty-cake, eight episodes of peek-a-boo, two intense rounds of tickle-monster, and then a rocky story that he conjured from thin air when the boy who looked to be nodding off demanded for a story. 

Now he had a sleeping and drooling toddler that was still butt naked on his lap. He had been expecting someone to burst inside the room frantically and frazzled during round one of patty-cake but no one had yet to come. 

Looking back down at the child he moved a lock of the curly black hair from his face and tucked it back with the rest.

Now, what was he supposed to do?

He didn’t know how long it was that he was alone with only the sound of the kid’s soft snores but he must have fallen asleep at some point because he found himself startling awake at the sound of someone knocking on the door.

His nose twitched as an older man stepped into the room, his dirty blond hair combed and for all rights and reason, he looked as if he was someone’s father with the light sweater he had on and the jeans that were just a bit too baggy around the thighs. 

His demeanor was nothing like the confident sharply polite alpha like Hermione, instead his posture and the gentle air around him spoke of an omega even before his scent did. 

“Hullo, I’m Remus, Hermione told me you’re Shane and -”

His expression softened a great deal more and Shane looked to where the man was staring, the tiny figure of the boy that was still asleep in his lap as if Shane was his personal bed.

“So that’s where you got yourself to, sigh, I’m really sorry about him. He tends to think of running naked after his bath is the best way to make fun and games. Takes after his father he does.”

The man, Remus, placed the tray covered by a cheesecloth on the bedside table before he gently picked the small boy up with practiced ease, or maybe it was just a natural skill that came with being an omega?

Shane found himself relaxing almost involuntarily the longer the man stayed in his personal space, perhaps it was because he recognized someone just like him or maybe it was the fact that he was the adorable kid’s Pa; regardless of whatever the reason he found himself leaning towards the man that smelled like chocolate, paper and oddly enough traces of car oil.

Looking up he flinched when a pair of hazel eyes just stared down at him, understanding so well embedded in them that it actually made Shane feel ashamed even though he had no right to be. Leaning back as far as he could against the pillow he cleared his throat and scratched his beard, looking everywhere but at the other omega.

It was like a biological attraction for omegas to feel safe when in the presence of other omegas, even more so when the omega in question was mated and had children, the feeling was something Shane hadn’t experienced since he was a boy and his mother had totted him around in her arms. 

Clearing his throat again he nodded to the still sleeping boy that had turned to nuzzle his face into his ‘mother’s’ neck. “He’s yours then.”

Remus smiled at Shane, a small but brilliant thing that made him a bit uncomfortable.

“He’s a bit of an escape artist I’m afraid.”

Shane’s lips twitched “He goes poof.” he repeated the boy’s words and Remus’ eyes sparkled as he laughed loudly.

“I see he’s told you the trick of his then.” Remus sighed and pressed a soft kiss to the black curls on the boy’s head. “He’s a bit of a handful but every bit of trouble he gives is solely from the other half of his DNA, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Shane watched as Remus rubbed his nose along the boy’s cheek and the toddle squirmed in his sleep, his small hand coming up to smack the man on the nose.

“Ma...ma...itchy.” he mumbled and Shane couldn’t contain the snort of mirth and even Remus chuckled.

“Somehow my mustache is itchy but he loves his father’s goatee. Favoritism until he’s hungry or sleepy and then it’s all me. His name is Theodore but we call him Teddy since it’s been decided that’s a bit of a mouthful for a three-year-old to handle.”

“Teddy…” Shane murmured, testing out the name of the boy he spent maybe what was over two hours with. 

They sat in silence for a few moments before Remus jumped up from the side of the bed and in the process startled Shane who immediately reached for his side only to remember that he no longer had any weapons and was only wearing sweatpants under the sheet.

“I almost forgot your breakfast. Shoot, it must be partially cold by now - ah, do you mind if I rest him on the bed?”

Shane shook his head and Remus smiled at him, settling Teddy back on the sheet by the foot of the bed where the footboard was that would prevent the boy from rolling off. 

“Hermione said to tell you that Madam Pomfrey isn’t very happy about you eating solids so soon after you woke up and that to eat slowly so you won’t upset your stomach with the reintroduction of complex foods. So I only brought you eggs, pancakes and some fruit juice.”

Shane’s eyes widened as the tray was set in his lap, the eggs slightly runny, three pancakes shining with syrup, and a large mug of orange juice.

“I really hope it’s okay, I should have asked before I set the plate but Sirius said that you would probably eat anything and-”

Shane reached out and grabbed the man’s hand, the hand instinctively squeezing back around his. 

He didn’t understand why the man was fussing over the food when this was the first time in such a long time that he was even staring at something edible that he didn’t find in an abandoned supermarket or found in a stolen bag.

“Thank you.” his voice sounded rough even to his ears but Remus just smiled back and covered Shane’s hand with his second one “You’re very welcome.”

Shane let himself soak up the contact before the smell of eggs, juice, and syrup lured him to pull away; the fork in his hand shaking a bit as he stabbed the fluffy eggs and brought it to his lips. 

He was not aware that he was shoveling food into his mouth until a hand was placed over his to stop the forkful of pancakes from being stuffed in his already full mouth.

“Take your time, you don’t have to rush. I promise it won’t taste as good coming out if you upset your stomach.”

Shane chewed and swallowed, setting the fork down to take his first gulp of cool mildly sweet juice and “Fuck…”

Remus chuckled and leaned back in the chair he had been sitting in since placing the food on Shane’s lap. 

“I remember saying something similar after we got this place up and running and we all had our first proper meal. Sirius’ own rendition was much more colourful.”

Savouring the taste of the juice he swallowed it as slowly as he could “That’s your husband.”

Remus perked up a bit “Husband, best-friend, mate, father of my child. He’s everything to me.”

Shane was a bit surprised to hear the confidence that came from saying such a thing. There was no doubt to be heard and whoever ‘Sirius’ was he must have been someone spectacular to attract someone as homely as Remus. 

“Do you have anyone waiting for you on the outside?”

Shane speared a piece of egg and added it to the cut of pancake. “No one.”

“Hermione told me you said you had a group-”

“I’m not going to tell you anything about them so if you wanna kick me out then do it.”

“You’re not going to be evicted Shane. We just like to avoid misunderstandings as much as possible when it comes to group members. If you have a group or had a group then that is your personal business, we just want to make sure no one will be coming knocking on our doors with a tank demanding we return you.”

“You don’t have to worry about anyone coming for me.” he mumbled. 

Admitting that he didn’t have anyone out there that would even remotely care if he was alive or dead hurt more than he would’ve liked to admit but it was one of the many truths he had to face. 

Remus nodded and Shane went back to eating much much slower this time and it was only when there was a little left on his plate that his stomach cried defeat even though he wanted to eat much more.

Remus took the tray up after another few minutes and placed it back on the bedside table.

“How do you feel now?”

That was a good question. How did he feel? His body still ached in a places but the void that had been his stomach was finally full for the first time in a very long time.

“I feel good.”

Remus smiled at him again and Shane looked away.

Someone as nice as him shouldn’t be giving someone like Shane such a kind expression. Not after the things he had done, not after he had killed Otis and very nearly his best friend.

Feeling his foot being grabbed he looked down to where Teddy was sleeping, thumb still in mouth. 

He shouldn’t be here being fed and surrounded by people who were looking out for his best interest because as much as he didn’t trust them, he believed in their sincerity and he shouldn’t have any of it.

Rick should be here eating a proper meal and sleeping in a real bed not him.

It should be Carl that was enjoying pancakes because the boy loved anything sweet ever since Rick and Shane introduced him to donuts when he was two years old.

He didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t deserve any of this kindness not after everything he did, not after what he almost succeeded in doing not after -

“Shane! Shane! Hey it’s okay, it’s-”

Shane pulled away from the hands that held his as his breathing became quicker “No no no no, it’s not, it’s not! I-I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be here… I-I… not after what I did - not after-”

Remus was stronger than he looked under the sweater because he grabbed Shane’s hands again that were tangling themselves in his hair and held them tight, his expression now worried, the concern tangible.

“I don’t know what you did but we all have our demons to face we-”

“No no no you don’t...you don’t understand I-I killed someone I killed-”

Remus leaned in closer and Shane shuddered when the sweet smell wafted from the blond, the calming pheromones that only an omega had, enveloped him like a blanket.

“Did you have to in order to survive?”

The question shocked him.

“Shane, did you kill him because it meant that you wouldn’t have to die? Did his death mean you got to live?”

Did he really have to kill Otis back then or was it for nothing? They were running out of ammo and the pistols were almost out of bullets, Otis was slow from the start and would most likely have continued to slow them both down with his lack of stamina but Shane should’ve found a way - he could’ve found a way somehow to help the man make it back to the farm. He could’ve helped him but that might’ve gotten him killed as well. 

If he had stayed with Otis, if he had stayed with him they would’ve gotten caught. 

The horde had been huge and no matter where they turned more kept coming. If he had stayed and helped Otis, if he had done what Rick would’ve in that situation he would’ve died.

Shooting Otis in the leg and leaving him as bait maybe wasn’t the right thing to do but Shane had wanted to live.

He still did. 

Looking up at Remus he shook his head “I didn’t have a choice. I swear I didn’t have a choice.”

Remus nodded “Would you ever hurt a child Shane?”

Shane flinched as he tried to tug his hands from Remus’ surprisingly strong grip “No! No, I wouldn’t!”

Remus just held on tighter and pulled Shane to him before he wrapped him in a tight hug. At that moment he forgot to breathe, his chest stilling as he stiffened in the embrace until his lungs burned and he gasped in a shaky breath.

“You do what you have to in order to survive Shane. You kill or be killed.”

Hearing those words come from Remus was like cold water to his system and at the same time it was comforting, the pheromones slowing down his breathing until he was taking in deep calming breaths and his head felt fuzzy as if he was being pulled down to sleep. 

Leaning back the older man smiled, his mustache twitching “Don’t ever feel ashamed for surviving Shane. If your old group couldn’t understand that then their loss.”

Shane felt his head hit the pillow as Remus pulled away, Teddy in his arms.

“Get some rest, I’ll stop by later to give you a shave, ah, you’re already asleep huh.”

Remus smiled and pressed a kiss to Teddy’s head. “Come along Teddy- bear”

**…**

**.**

**.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus, Teddy, and Decisions.

Shane’s face burned red and while counting backward from a thousand was helping some it didn’t completely distract him from the dainty blond woman prodding and poking around his junk and ass.

Keeping his arms firmly in place over his eyes he tried not to tense up when something cold and decidedly steel entered him.

“That’s it Mr. Walsh just breath and there we go.” the thing was removed and he then had to endure listening to her hum and mumble about his temperature and want not.

All he wanted to do was to put his clothes back on and bury himself under the covers to flush his mind of the embarrassment and never come back out. 

“Okay then dearie are you ready to hear your prognosis?” she asked and he nodded numbly. Her small hand pat him on the thigh in what might have been a comforting manner but he just knew he would be unable to look the blond beta in the eye from now on.

Tugging his sweats back up he stared at the tissue that was held out to him, his face reddening more when she motioned to between his legs where it was slippery from the lube and fuck - how was this his life now?

“Your fever is gone completely but your muscle mass still needs to return so I’ll have you on a fairly high protein diet from now on, your hormone levels need to be improved but from what you’ve told me, I would say the suppressants still need to be flushed from your body before your natural flow return. I give it a few months perhaps until they are completely gone, a year the most.”

She checked her chart, rattling off about his weight because his obvious embarrassment was of a small issue for her. 

“I’ll give you permission to wander around since the light exercise will do you good, Remus tells me you’re about to go stir crazy so you should be happy, be wary of stairs until you’re sure you won’t topple down them, stay away from any alcohol until next week at least. Drink plenty of water, your skin still isn’t as supple as I would have hoped it would be and in three days I want you to tell me about if your bathroom habits can be considered normal or below average.”

Shane could only stare at the tiny terror of a doctor who gave him a bright smile and stood up.

“If any time you feel dizzy or lightheaded eat something sweet and take a rest. There is no shame in giving your body time to heal Mr. Walsh. I’ll see you in a few days but if you have any trouble or questions feel free to find me.”

She practically skipped her way out of the door as if she walked on air and he was left in complete silence other than the happenings outside.

Flopping backward onto the bed he groaned, face covered again before deciding to get over with wiping the lube from between his cheeks, the task itself was weird and god he could only imagine what he looked like doing it. 

He barely got the sweats back up and paper thrown in the bin before a knock came to his door and Remus peaked inside, Teddy’s unruly hair and wide eyes following a second after with a spit riddle hand stuffed in his mouth.

“Can we come in?” the older omega asked even as the toddler wiggled in his hold, the very same spitty fist now outstretched towards Shane. Grunting he kicked away the covers and didn’t flinch when the ball of energy Theodore collided with him, drool on his cheek as the little boy grinned. 

Closing the door behind him Remus took his usual seat beside the bed a soft smile on his lips as he watched Teddy babble to Shane and reciting all the new words he had learned and Shane in return gave the appropriate responses. 

“How’re you feeling today?” the question was a broad one but Shane took it at face value and shrugged “Fine.”

Some people might have prodded him more or gotten annoyed by the blunt and rather vague answer but Remus just beamed and pat him on the shoulder.

“I’m happy then. Teddy suggested today that since Luna gave you the mostly all clear we would show you around parts of the compound today.”

Shane raised an eyebrow at the kid on his lap, thumb in mouth, impossibly tiny fingers wrapped in his t-shirt as he stared at his mother in what could only be adoration. 

“Did he now.” poking the kid in the side he watched in vague amusement when he squeaked, giggled, and directed a rather bemused glare in his direction.

“Wanna go outside little man?”

Leaving the room was a first for him in the time he had been conscious, the bedroom he was in being just one of the man in the hallway, doors having initials on the surface rather than full names. It was fairly plainly decorated, wooden floors, cemented walls, lights on the ceiling every couple of feet and three staircases -two going up and one going down. 

Walking down the stairs was a bit mind-boggling and more than a little annoying especially when the first step almost made him lose his balance, hand clutching the railing.

“The hell…” he muttered and Remus who had stopped three steps down retraced them.

With one hand under Teddy’s bum, he wrapped the next around Shane’s waist, not budging even when the hissed that he was fine. 

“I know you are, but it doesn’t hurt to have a helping hand sometimes.”

“I can walk down fucking stairs myself Remus.” snapped, tossing a quick look to Teddy who paid no mind to the cuss word. 

“I know.” Remus agreed and took a step forward and on reflex, Shane did as well. 

“Then why the hell are you still holding me.” he might have been a little wild in the eyes but the older omega brushed it off as he would lint on clothing, step by step he helped Shane down until they stood in the foyer where directly to their right was a dining room and to their left a living room. 

“While most of your motor skills are working, actions like running, walking up and downstairs, and even heavy lifting will be a bit harder until your muscles remember the sequence and so on. Like learning to ride a bicycle, you never forget but sometimes you fumble with it.” 

Remus pat him on the back and stepped away, Teddy bouncing in his arms. “Are you ready?” he asked and Shane scowled at him.

What was with the man and loaded questions?

Shrugging he squinted at the small smile that curved on the blond’s lips and then squinted even further when the door was opened and the sunlight practically blinded him for close to a minute. Looking around the compound the moment his eyes adjusted to the glaring light he stared at what was maybe the closest thing to civilization since he was evicted from the Green farm.

“This is one of the courtyards, basically an outdoor rec-room of sorts. It’s here that you can relax if you are not missing your room too badly.” Remus explained and Shane could only nod, eyes taking in the recreational area that had everything from a basketball court to a deck-like structure where people were playing various games from chess to cards. 

“It’s not as large as we would hope it to be so Harry’s thinking of expanding it to give the people more room to decompress, come on, there’s more to see.” Shane followed after him, eyes flickering again to the basketball court where an intense game was currently being played.

“From your window, you can see the animals being taken out every morning, their stables are in the second-largest courtyard, quality space. The more comfortable they are the more they produce.”

Teddy bounced in Remus’ arms, spitty fingers reaching out to Shane “Cow go Moooo!” he declared and Shane cracked a smile “Yea. Cow goes moo.”

They came upon a gate that was like a mini watch-tower with two guys above and two below, the latter pushing open the wooden structure with a grunt. 

“Sections like this are separated from others. In the event that we’re overrun securing the humans is important but so is the livestock. We worked really hard to find even the first one, much less the others, then the time to transport and get them back to a healthy enough state… let’s just say we rather not do it all over again if it can be avoided.” 

“Sheep go Baaa!”

The heavy gate closed behind them with a dull thud, the mini guard tower acting as an archway that lead to the farm, and between one moment and the next he was suddenly hit with the scent of pure animals. It was not a bad smell, his nose had gotten accustomed to rotting corpses, but compared to Hershel’s modest if somewhat lacking farm this was perhaps the closest thing to old McDonald's he had ever seen. 

This was some next level shit.

“How many animals do you got in here?”

Remus tilted his head, forehead wrinkling in contemplation “I’m not sure really. I stopped keeping count after the cow’s reached a dozen or so.”

“You have twelve cows?!” 

“Had.”

“Had?”

“‘Ad.” Teddy gave his two cents and received a kiss from his mother. 

Leading him around the corner the smell of farm animals only grew stronger and Remus pointed to the first barn, a plain structure that was maybe three times the size of Hershel's in length and width. Upon entering, the farmhands calling out to the blond man and baby alike, Teddy waving back shyly at each call of his name.

“The cows and their calves are kept in one area at night, the few bulls that they use for breeding are in the right section over there. Sheep and goats in the left section.” 

Shane followed slowly behind the man, staring at the different colored cows who paid him no mind, some of them having a mini version of themselves tucked at their side. 

“The horses are kept in another barn, chickens, and ducks coops on the other side. Pigs are separated from other animals.”

Somewhere along the tour of the farm, he attained Teddy, the little boy riding comfortably in his arms much to Remus’ amusement, sidestepping and standing off to the side out of the way of the people leading cow and calf alike to and from the pens.

“Harry and Hermione want to expand it in time but for now we have a steady supply of meat and produce, enough so to store some of it if anything the crop fields will be widened before the farm is.”

Leaving the farm through an archway the sound of what could only be saw was heard from the lone building in the area. 

“Butcher.” Shane guessed and was given a nod. Another set of gates and he was taking in the rows upon rows of green crops, people walking through the spaces and tending to some, others being watered manually while in other areas he could see the nozzles of sprinklers set up. 

“How is this possible...” he was all for believing in the power of teamwork and shit like that but it was one thing to be prepared and another to be this - and this? This was hard to believe. 

He didn’t mean to sound skeptical after he was fed diner food this morning, food that he had long since given up ever being able to eat again, but the difference between Hershel’s farm and this place was getting wider and wider, the comparisons smaller and smaller. 

It made him wonder what these people had or did that Rick and he hadn’t, what made them build, maintain and expand a stronghold while they had still been floundering in the wild like lost children. 

“In an effort not to sound as ‘cheesy’ as my daughter tells me I can be sometimes I’ll show you at a later date if you decide to stay with us, but as I told you when we first met, any talent is a gift because without Neville who is our head botanist and herbalist we wouldn’t know what to plant or when to plant it, then those with a green thumb can ensure the plants are well taken care of.”

“As with the animals, vets are essential and anyone with knowledge on how to take care of farm animals. Holding a gun and pulling the trigger or wielding a blade isn’t the only prerequisite in order to stay. Even if you have a taste for baking we could always use another hand in the kitchen.”

That gave him a start, and for a moment he had forgotten that he had yet to give the other omega an answer on whether or not he was going to leave or remain within the compound. 

He however did pause mid-step, giving the older man a look when what he said sunk in.

“Daughter? You have another kid?” he didn’t mean to sound so shocked but the fuck if he wasn’t. 

Remus thanked a girl, practically a preteen who brought him three slices of melon, the meat of the fruit a deep red. Teddy wiggled until he was handed back to his father, the toddler taking the smallest of the pieces and not even waiting to be told to, bit into the watermelon as much as his little mouth could handle.

The kid was a riot really. 

Staring at the fruit he scowled at Remus when he made a ‘go-on’ motion - as if he needed to be encouraged to eat fruit, he wasn’t a child, but he did bite into it, allowing the mildly sweet cool fruit to wash over him, cooling him on the inside from the heat of the day. 

“I have two other children, Teddy here is my youngest.” 

Shane choked a bit. He didn’t know why he was so shocked, alpha and omega pairings often had large families, especially pairings that were happy, so it wasn’t such a stretch that Remus and his alpha were getting it on enough that three children were conceived. 

“Did I ruin your image of me?” the blond teased and Shane scowled at the insinuation “Who the hell said I had an image of you?”

Never mind that he did. 

Chuckling he took a washcloth from a pocket of his cardigan, wiping the sticky face of Teddy. “Good to know.” his smile said otherwise and Shane glared at him, though it did nothing but make the smile wider.

“Ready to continue?” 

Grunting he got a bigger smile in return and Shane resisted the urge to groan at the too nice man who had a natural never-ending well of smiles and 'feel-good-calm' pheromones, being around Remus didn’t give him space to angst over his clusterfuck of fuckups nor did it give him even a moment to fall into a state of depression since his own hormones responded to the gentle waves the older man released. 

It was like a high without being high and he hated it, yet at the same time couldn’t find it within himself to tell the other to fuck off. 

Looking out at the not so vast but still impossibly huge fields of crops he squinted towards the tree line and could spot the barest outline of a border, or least he thought he did. 

“The first day I woke up I saw people combing through a field where’s that?”

Remus pointed to the left “A bit deeper into the farm area, the grass there isn’t for any specific purpose other than for the animals to graze every now and then when everyone is too occupied to go out and find grass to bring back for them.”

“There’s a blockade along the border of that right?” he motioned to the crops.

“Mhmm, nothing too sturdy since we’re planning on expanding it would be a pain to build up a wall only to tear it down. Spikes, traps, and snares are along the circumference to get any dead and intruders. The guard posts can also see anything coming before the ground patrol can.”

Shane didn’t want to admit it but fuck if they weren’t prepared.

Eyeing Remus who was giving him that patient smile which was also aimed towards Teddy at times when the boy babbled endlessly about this or that - why it was always directed towards him he really didn’t want to ask. He had a feeling the response would make him like the man more. 

“We’re protected here Shane, you don’t have to worry.”

“Who said I was worried?” 

Remus chuckled and tugged on his shirt lightly “Come on, I’ll show you where I work when my hands aren’t full with this one and his father.”

Teddy perked up at that “Daddy?” hazel eyes wide and dark curls whipping back and forth as he searched for the man in question. 

The gates were tiresome but he could see the appeal in them, strong and thick enough to keep any threat contained in or out.

The next courtyard was larger than the first, to one side an open-sided L-shaped building and he blinked upon noticing the children and some adults being taught, books open on the desks with pens and pencils alike in hand. 

“You have a school.”

It wasn’t a question but Remus parroted it back at him “We have a school. Teaching anyone who wants to continue to learn. Initially, we didn’t have one but I was a teacher before all of this happened and pitched the idea to Hermione who told Harry and you can see the results of our efforts. I teach geography, Latin, and occasionally the softer sides of home economics such as sewing.”

He’s been hearing that name thrown around a lot, and it wasn’t hard to guess who the boss man of the place was.

It was always Harry this or Harry that, but he had yet to put a face to the name.

The last bit of it was said softer than the rest, Shane raising a brow at the redness on the tip of Remus’ ear. Of all the things this was what made the man embarrassed? 

Shoving his hands into the pockets of the sweats Shane grunted “At least you can sew, I can’t thread a needle for shi-poop…” he finished a bit lamely when he remembered there was an impressionable child just a foot away. 

Remus ducked his head a bit, but a smile was on his lips once more, his own hazel eyes peeking up from around Teddy’s bed of dark hair “Would you like to learn?” 

Again with the loaded questions. Rolling his eyes Shane shrugged, eyes following the men and women who were jogging around the circumference of the area, it reminded him of the drills he had to do back when he was just a recruit. Another group to the west side was doing push-ups and the next crunches, each having someone giving orders. He received a few looks but ultimately everyone was too busy to pay Remus and him any much mind.

What surprised him most about this all was maybe the gun range, and it was definitely a gun range, mannequins set up in various locations and spaces. The gunfire was loud and his eyes darted around as if expecting a horde to come crashing through the several inches thick walls. 

“Loud noises attract them - the walkers, all this shooting is gonna bring them on your asses.” 

“Mhm maybe, but we’re not worried.” 

That - that was a rather ballsy thing to say, secure fortress or not. All it took was one bitten person hiding their infection and everything could go to hell. If Jim hadn’t been outed back when he was then maybe things wouldn’t have turned out as they did, maybe more if not most of them would have died had he turned when they had been asleep.

“This place never sleeps, the patrol is never-ending, everyone is checked thoroughly upon entering the first gate like you were.” 

They walked past more people that were paired up and before he could question what they were doing they scuffled until someone was thrown on the ground.

Hand to hand combat.. What the hell were they doing here? Building an army?

“After the mistakes we made initially we learned from them, made everything better. I’m not saying that it’s a perfect system because nothing is, but it’s better than how it used to be and much better than most. We’re safe here Shane, gunfire or not.”

He was still doubtful but it wasn’t his place to argue since he was still freeloading until he decided if he was staying.

_When_ he decided he was leaving. 

Remus reached out, slowly like the first time they had met but Shane had long since stopped flinching when it came to the older omega, but the sigh of contentment was something he had yet to stifle whenever the man touched him so openly.

He allowed his eyes to close for a moment, anxiety washing away at the idea of the place being overrun, of him having to run for his life again - of almost dying again. 

“Shane…” 

His brown met hazel and it was like being thrown into a physical hug without doing the actual touching, though Remus had no reservations about hugging him either, but Shane was thankful he didn’t out in the open where people could see - could judge.

“You’re safe here, I promise. Nothing is going to hurt you here.” the words were slow and reassuring, gentle like a lullaby which eased the panic that was building in his chest. “Just breathe with me. In… and out. Again, In… and out...” 

He was ashamed of himself but he could be ashamed in the privacy of the room later. Ducking his head he muttered a barely audible ‘sorry’ and was thankful when Remus dropped the subject.

It was frightening how comfortable and attached Shane was becoming to the blond man and how easily tuned in Remus was to him. Not even with over a decade of friendship were he and Rick as finely tuned. 

The high pitched squeal of ‘Daddy’ made him jump, Teddy’s voice venturing into decibels that maybe only dogs could hear, the toddler wiggling until he was set down, and it was amusing watching his stubby legs dash across the courtyard to where a welding slash mechanic shop was set up. He didn’t have to wonder long just who Remus’ alpha was when a man barely crouched down in time to catch the flying figure of Teddy, spinning the boy around and then promptly throwing him up into the air. 

And there was the squeal again. 

Following behind Remus only to stand and stare was more than a bit awkward especially watching the alpha coo at his youngest that babbled right back. 

Sirius wasn’t a huge man nor was he very tall, in fact, he and Shane were eye to eye and Shane knew that he was 5”11. It also brought to his attention now that there was someone else to compare to, Remus was tall. At least by a good inch or so.

“My Teddy bear oh my sweet boy, daddy’s missed you so much, it’s been forever since I saw your cute face--”

“You saw him this morning Sirius.” Remus said, voice filled with patient humor as if this was normal, and maybe it was, Remus did say his husband was a bit eccentric. 

The pout caught him off guard and Shane watched as Teddy was rearranged in his father’s arms until they were cheek to cheek, and like that the resemblance was eerie. Teddy being a mirror albeit much much younger version of his father with the exception of his eyes. The hair was just as curly and the nose just as straight though softly pudgy with the dimples already in place. 

“His genes fucked yours over man.” at the loud snort from Sirius he realized he had said that out loud, blanching a bit even though Remus himself was clearly amused. 

Teddy was too busy petting his father’s beard to pay any mind to what had been said. 

Sirius who was still chuckling in clear mirth held out his hand to Shane after pressing a soft and intimate kiss on his husband’s lips, the kiss lingering until Remus poked him in the side and made the alpha giggle. 

“You must be Shane, Remus told me a bit ‘bout you. Nice to meet any friend of my love.” his smile was disarming and expression even more open with his hair thrown up in a ponytail but Shane still hesitated before taking the hand offered. 

Glancing at Remus who was practically beaming as though Shane had just done something monumental he dropped the alpha’s hand, rubbing his fingers a bit at the greasy feeling to them.

“Ah sorry, I was kinda in the middle of fixing that when this pup came running. A pup who is getting heavy, are you eating trees Teds? Is that where they’re disappearing to? Are they in your tummy?” his fingers deftly tickled the little potbelly of the toddler who squealed and batted away the offensive hand.

“Nooo daddy! I don’ eat trees!” 

Shane bit his lip to stop the smile that threatened to appear but the other omega had no problem with showing just how much love he had for the two. “He’s not going to stay small for much longer you know that. Izabelle shot up like a weed after her fifth birthday.”

Sirius looked as if the words had dealt a physical blow to him “I know… and she was so cute too, following me around like a little lamb and now she’s all… _teenager_.” the man gave a literal full-body shudder and Remus rolled his eyes. 

“It’s called growing up Pet, Alexander did the same remember.” 

Sirius moaned as if he was in pain, his face hiding in Teddy’s hair “Please don’t remind me. He used to call me papa in that angelic voice of his, giving me a kiss every time he saw me, and now he’s all _older_ teenager.” 

“Yes dear, that’s what they do, I seem to remember we were teenagers once hm?” maybe Sirius was why Remus was such a patient man, Shane remained quiet watching the two exchange words, like a verbal game of tennis with one lamenting the loss of his children's cuteness and the next reassuring him that he was an idiot but was still loved.

“Remus.” it was an actual fucking whine and Remus’ eyes rolled skyward in exasperation. 

“Let’s make another one, we still have time before you stop having heats right? Luna said a year or two, let’s make one more baby love.” any trace of childishness left Sirius’ voice and Shane was left to watch as the man shifted from playful to predatory.

His grey eyes slanted and body coiled loosely as he stepped into Remus’ personal space, nose directly along where the scared bite mark sat.

Remus shuddered and for a moment the scent around him changed to something sickly sweet, too sweet for Shane who covered his nose as discretely as he could without making much movement. He felt as though he was intruding and while he was sure he could find his way back to his room himself he didn’t want to take the chance of having to interact with anyone who questioned just who he was. 

“W-we have company Sirius.” his hands were curled into the vest the alpha was wearing, a flush spreading along his chest and his hazel eyes more than a bit dazed. It was a weak attempt to make the man snap out of it but it seemed to work when Sirius sighed, a pout forming on his lips. 

“Sorry about that Shane my man, just look at this, who wouldn’t want a million of these?” he dangled Teddy midair by the armpits, the boy lazily kicking out his legs, a mumbled mess of words leaving him that had a vague rhyme to them. 

“Not my fault I tell ya, you haven’t seen him when he jumps me, wiggling his cute butt, I’m only just a man in love, only so much restraint I have and that’s how Teddy here came about y’know, he jumped me in the library right behind the-”

“Sirius!” Remus was definitely embarrassed now and even Shane couldn’t stop the slight colour that highlighted the tips of his ears.

The man was shameless it seemed but his words didn’t sound untrue. Remus turned to him and Shane held up both hands in surrender making the older omega groan and hide his face in his palms even when Sirius peppered any unhidden areas with kisses, Teddy copying his father. 

Shane looked away from the scene before him, the happiness exuding from the trio was comforting and at the same time nauseating because Rick and Lori had been that way once, happy and so in love, and like a virus, he infected that happiness until it fell apart.

He barely registered his name being called before his throat burned and the acidic taste of vomit washed over his tongue, the glorious food he had eaten that morning coming back up in an undigested mess. Hands were on his back rubbing even as his belly cramped again, another heave of vomit following the first. 

He wasn’t even aware he was crying until Remus dabbed at his face, the other omega worried image blurred by the tears “‘M sorry… s-sorry.” he mumbled and anything Remus said was drowned out when he hunched over again to empty whatever little remained in his guts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So University has started and assignments are coming in rapidly, so updates will be a tad slow. 
> 
> What do you guys think of it so far?
> 
> As always comments and feedback are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Timelines for TWD in this AU are botched so the zombie outbreak has been happening for at least 2 years now.


End file.
